+ 599 Inspirational Funny Quotes Celebrating Life, Love & Struggles

To help you stay focused and stay loose, below is our collection of funny inspirational quotes, collected from a variety of sources over the years. If you need some motivation to stay on your grind, be sure to check out our collection of Inspirational Funny Quotes. We also have a selection of quotes by Michael Scott as well as these funny The Office quotes from the hilarious T.V. show that will make you laugh out loud. Be sure to also read that.

Funny inspirational quotes for work and life

Funny inspirational quotes for work and life

1. “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” – Mae West

2. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

3. “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London

4. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.” – Dr. Seuss

5. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” – Unknown

6. “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain

7. “Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer

8. “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.” – Isaac Asimov

9. “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” – Truman Capote

10. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing; that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

11. “If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.” – Marie Osmond

12. “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth

13. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

14. “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Sam Levenson

15. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” – Franklin P. Jones

16. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen

17. “The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake.”

18. “Dear life, when I said: ‘Can my day get any worse?’ It was rhetorical, not a challenge.”

19. “Cleaning up is just putting stuff in less obvious places.”

20. “It amazes me how much exercise and extra fires sound alike.”

Funny inspirational quotes about life and career

Funny inspirational quotes about life and career

1. “I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.”

2. “In m defense, I was left unsupervised.”

3. “Taking naps sounds so childish. I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses.”

4. I walk around like everything is fine. But deep down, inside my show, my sock is sliding off.”

5. “It’s called Karma, and it’s pronounced, ‘Haha, f*** you ‘.”

6. “If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”

7. “I think my guardian angel drinks.”

8. “So it turns out that being an adult is really just Googling how to do stuff.”

9. “I don’t think there will be enough coffee or middle fingers for this Monday.”
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of monday motivation quotes to help you get the week started.

10. “Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping!”

11. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
– Thomas Eddison

12. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? – George Carli

13. If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big. – Donald Trump

14. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. – Mitch Hedberg

15. “You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.” — Sam Levenson

16. “It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

17. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. – Mark Twain

18. “I have to be successful because I like expensive things.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

19. “Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat.” — Harry Emerson Fosdick

20. I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life. – Karan Patel

More funny inspirational quotes and sayings

More funny inspirational quotes and sayings

1. “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.“ – Robert Downey Jr.

2. “Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.” – Terry Pratchett

3. “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” – George Carlin
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of George Carlin quotes to from the iconic comedian.

4. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein

5. “I figured something out. The future is unpredictable.” – John Green

6. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire

7. “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself.” – Ethel Barrymore

8. “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” – Frank Zappa

9. “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” – Dale Carnegie

10. “Aspire to inspire before we expire.” – Eugene Bell Jr

11. “I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.” – Edgar Allan Poe

12. “Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!” – Dr. Seuss

13. “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
– Charles J. Sykes

14. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

15. “Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” – Woody Allen

16. “Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you’re alive it isn’t.” – Richard Bach

17. “We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.” – W. H. Auden

18. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

19. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” – Robert Brault

20. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers

Funny inspirational quotes for everyone

Funny inspirational quotes for everyone

1. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”– Abraham Lincoln

2. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”– Alan Dundes

3. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”– Andy Rooney

4. “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”
– Ann Landers

5. “The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”– Bertrand Russell

6. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”– Bernard Baruch

7. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”– Bill Watterson

8. “Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.”– Bill Vaughan

9. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”– Bob Hope

10. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”– Charlie Chaplin

11. “They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”– Clint Eastwood

12. “By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”– Charles Wadsworth

13. “Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.”– Cullen Hightower

14. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”– Billy Wilder

15. “I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.”– Drake

16. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”– Elbert Hubbard

17. “If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.”– George Burns

18. “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.” – George Carlin

19. “If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”– Henny Youngman

10. “Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.”– James Thurber

Funny inspirational quotes to uplift you everyday

Funny inspirational quotes to uplift you everyday

1. “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”– Charles de Gaulle

2. “Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.”– Daniel J. Boorstin

3. “We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”– Bryan White

4. “A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”– Denis Waitley

5. “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”– Dorothy Parker

6. “A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”– Eleanor Roosevelt

7. “Leave something for someone but dont leave someone for something.”– Enid Blyton

8. “Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”– Francois de La Rochefoucauld

9. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.”– George Carlin

10. “Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.”– Jeffree Star

11. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”– Ron White

12. “It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.”– Thomas Sowell

13. “Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.”– Salvador Dali

14. “Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.” – Voltaire

15. “I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.”– Samuel Goldwyn

16. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” – Marilyn Monroe

17. “You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.” – Solomon Schechter

18. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” – Ayn Rand

19. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”– Steven Wright
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Steven Wright quotes to make you laugh.

20. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” – Jason Love

Funny Inspirational quotes for life

Funny Inspirational quotes for life

1. “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?”– Ronald Reagan

2. “I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!”– Tom Lehrer

3. “A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”– Samuel Goldwyn

4. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams

5. “If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”– Scott Adams

6. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” – Homer Simpson

7. “It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!”– Steven Weinberg

8. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese

9. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”– Steven Wright

10. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite

11. “Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.” –Unknown

12. “Today’s opportunities erase yesterday’s failures.” – Gene Brown

13. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

14. “If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself.” – Irish Proverbs

15. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett

16. “See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly.” – George Harris

17. “The best things in life are actually really expensive.” – Unknown

18. “The mind is like a clock that is constantly running down. It has to be wound up daily with good thoughts.” – Fulton J. Sheen

19. “Cause your facial expression to change – smile.” – Catherine Pulsifer

20. “Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip.” – Richard Steele

Funny inspirational quotes to make your day better

Funny inspirational quotes to make your day better

1. “The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” – Unknown

2. “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.” – Lucille Ball

3. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”- Unknown

4. “If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won’t come up with a hand full of mud either.” – Leo Burnett

5. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

6. “You can’t experience simple joys when you’re living life with your hair on fire.” – Emily Ley

7. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” – Mark Twain

8. “If your capacity to acquire has outstripped your capacity to enjoy, you are on the way to the scrap-heap.” – Glen Buck

9. “Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things.” – Bernard Sahlins

10. “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” – William James

11. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” – Albert Einstein

12. “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Watterson

13. “Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.” – Terry Pratchett

14. “If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big.” – Tom Hirshfield

15. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.” —John Wooden

16. “Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can.” – Danny Kaye

17. “Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost.” – Martina Navratilova

18. “Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.”
– Unknown

19. “Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there.” – Josh Billings

20. “There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.” – Roger Staubach

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