+ 599 Funny Wine Quotes To Get You Through the Rough Days

Sometimes rough days happen in life and a little wine can be just the thing to help you get through it. These Funny Wine Quotes will make you pour a glass. There is a case to be made for the benefit of drinking wine. It can be good for your heart, help prevent things like vision loss and colon cancer, and even improve lung function. And a lot of people enjoy unwinding after a rough day with a glass of wine.

Funny wine quotes about wisdom

Funny wine quotes about wisdom

1. “For when the wine is in, the wit is out.” – Thomas Becon

2. “Compromises are for relationships, not wine.” – Sir Robert Scott Caywood

3. “I tried to think of a way to always have clean bedsheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same color as my wine.” – Unknown

4. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra

5. “An empty bottle of wine is better than a filled one. It shows achievement.” – Unknown

6. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” – Benjamin Franklin

7. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” – Louis Pasteur

8. “Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.” – Aristophanes

9. “A glass of wine is good for your health… The leftover in the bottle is good for your morale.” – Anonymous

10. “Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.” ― Leon Adams

11. “Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise.” – Charles Kingsley

12. “A glass of wine keeps the doctor away; a bottle of wine would keep everyone away. I think I’ll have a bottle.” – Unknown

13. “Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.” – Karl Marx

14. “Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

15. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” ― Pope John XXIII

16. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemmingway

17. “If you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll end up in a wine bar.” – Unknown

18. “The only thing I throwback on Thursday is a glass of wine.” – Uknown

19. “If I ever go missing I’d like my picture put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me. – Unknown

20. “One not only drinks wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and one talks about it.” – King Edward VII

21. “If I did one of those wine and paint nights the instructor would be like wow look at you, you are really good at wine.” – Unknown

22. “I tried cooking with wine. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.” – Anonymous

Funny Wine Quotes Every Wine

Funny Wine Quotes Every Wine

1. “I tried to think of a way to always have clean bedsheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same color as my wine.” ― Unknown

2. “For when the wine is in, the wit is out.” ― Thomas Beccon

3. “Compromises are for relationships, not wine.” ― Sir Robert Scott Caywood

4. “An empty bottle of wine is better than a filled one. It shows achievement.” ― Unknown

5. “A glass of wine is good for your health. The leftover in the bottle is good for your morale.” ― Unknown

6. “Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.” ― Leon Adams

7. “A glass of wine keeps the doctor away; a bottle of wine would keep everyone away. I think I’ll have a bottle.” ― Unknown

8. “I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get!” ― Unknown

9. “Drink wine: it isn’t good to keep things bottled up.” ― Unknown

10. “They say a glass of wine is good for you. So two glasses must be better?” ― Unknown

11. “I know I have a strong will because I have quit drinking wine a thousand times, and I will not stop but keep trying, bottle after bottle.” ― Unknown

12. “There comes a time in the day when no matter what the question is, the answer is always wine.” ― Unknown

13. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” ― Louis Pasteur

14. “Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.” ― Aristophanes

15. “Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise.” ― Charles Kingsley

16. “Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.” ― Karl Marx

17. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” ― W.C. Fields

18. “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine and that’s kind of the same thing.” ― Unknown

19. “Wine flies when you’re having fun!” ― Unknown

20. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” ― Louis Pasteur

Funny wine quotes about people

Funny wine quotes about people

1. “One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.” ― Charles Baudelaire

2. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” ― Joan Collins

3. “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” ― Anonymous

4. “I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often – but I’m well preserved.” – Rose Kennedy

5. “I don’t go by the ratings. I buy wine that tastes good. Statistically, anybody’s ability to predict what will be a good wine a decade from now is limited.” – Richard Thaler

6. “I love everything that is old; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.” – Oliver Goldsmith

7. “Beer is made by men, wine by God.” ― Martin Luther

8. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.” ― Rumi

9. “Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

10. “I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.” – Bette Midler

11. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman

12. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

13. “About a minute ago, I had this urge to change the world. I quickly came to my senses and opened a bottle of wine instead.” – Anonymous

14. “More wine – Less whine” – Anonymous

15. “Reality is just an illusion that occurs due to lack of wine.” – Anonymous

16. “Spilling your glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.” – Anonymous

17. “Who is this –moderation– people are telling me to drink with?!” – Anonymous

18. “There comes a time in the day when no matter what the question is, the answer is always wine.” – Anonymous

19. “I will drink milk when cows eat grapes.” – Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

20. “I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get!” – Anonymous

Funny wine quotes about age and wine

Funny wine quotes about age and wine

1. “The only thing I can cook is white soup; the only ingredient is white wine.” ― Unknown

2. “I tried cooking with wine. It didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.” ― Unknown

3. “One not only drinks wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and one talks about it.” ― King Edward VII

4. “Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

5. “When a man drinks wine at dinner, he begins to be better pleased with himself.” ― Plato

6. “Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.” ― Alexander Fleming

7. “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” ― Unknown

8. “Beer is made by men, wine by God.” ― Martin Luther King

9. “More wine ― less whine.” ― Unknown

10. “Wine is the answer. What was the question?” ― Unknown

11. “It takes a lot of good beer to make great wine.” ― Brian O’Donnell

12. “The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.” ― Benjamin Franklin

13. “Life is too short to drink bad wine.” ― Unknown

14. “Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.” ― Napoleon Bonaparte

15. “Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.” ― Unknown

16. “The discovery of a good wine is increasingly better for mankind than the discovery of a new star.” ― Leonardo Da Vinci

17. “A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic to me somehow.” ― Kathy Mattea

18. “When you are stressed take wine, if you are still stressed take more wine.” ― Unknown

19. “Making good wine is a skill. Fine wine is an art.” ― Robert Mondavi

20. “I get really clumsy around wine, I seem to always spill the whole bottle down my throat.” ― Unknown

Funny wine quotes about happiness

Funny wine quotes about happiness

1. “In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”
― Napoleon Bonaparte

2. “Beer is made by men, wine by God.”
― Martin Luther, circa 1500s

3. “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.”
― Anonymous

4. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
― W.C. Fields, circa 1930’s

5. “It takes a lot of good beer to make great wine”
― Brian O’Donnell, Winemaker of Belle Pente, 2013

6. “Champagne is appropriate for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.”
― Madeline Puckette, 2010

7. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.”
― Rumi, circa 1200’s

8. “The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.”
― Benjamin Franklin, circa 1700s

9. “What wine goes with Captain Crunch?”
― George Carlin

10. “Life is too short to drink bad wine.”
― Anonymous

11. “She gets to keep the chalet and the Rolls, I want the Montrachet.”
― Forbes Magazine, May 6, 1996

12. “My only regret in life is that I didn’t drink enough Champagne.”
― Robert Noecker

13. “Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

14. “I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn’t know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.”
― Basil Fawlty, “Fawlty Towers”

15. “Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.”
― Napoleon Bonaparte

16. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.”
― Joan Collins

Funny food and wine quotes

Funny food and wine quotes

1.“Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.”

2.― Paulo Coelho1. “The best part of having visitors is opening a bottle, serving them a glass and then getting to finish it myself.” ― Unknown

3. “My doctor said I could take wine only on joyous occasions, and my other doctor said I should always make every day joyous. So that settles it.” ― Unknown

4. “Wine… the intellectual part of the meal.” ― Alexandre Dumas

5. “Wine is the most civilized thing in the world.” ― Ernest Hemingway

6. Spilling your glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.” ― Unknown

7. “We all need something to help us unwind at the end of the day. You might have a glass of wine, or a joint, or a big delicious blob of heroin to silence your silly brainbox of its witterings but there has to be some form of punctuation, or life just seems utterly relentless.”

― Russell Brand, My Booky Wook

8. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.”

― Louis Pasteur

9. “One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.”

― Charles Baudelaire, circa 1850s

10. “Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.”

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