There’s something truly unique about the things children say. From the cheeky one-liners to the hilarious malapropisms, kid quotes are pure gold. Here is a selection of recent Funny Quotes For Kids to make you laugh and bring you happiness.
Funniest Quotes About Kids
1, Son, thank you for growing up with you. Having children feel like the happiest in the world. I hope you grow up, a happy life.
2, Wishing you a happy and healthy baby. Happiness and achievements in the future.
3, Honey, I hope you can draw beautiful pictures with your skillful hands. I want to write lively stories with my own pen.
4, My beloved children, you bring joy and happiness to the whole family. Children are the pride of parents. Parents will do their best to help their children grow up. Hopefully, my life is always filled with laughter and beautiful memories.
5, Honey, if you want to have beautiful pictures, you must have a pen by yourself. Remember, my love will always be by your side.
6, Child, maturity are small excerpts from a long poem. Sing loudly when you’re happy, and cry out loud when you’re sad.
7, Smart people, today will do the things of tomorrow. Today’s lazy people will do yesterday’s work. Wish you will be a wise child. I wish you will be the owner of this era.
8, New year, I wish your baby to grow up, smart and mature. Wish your baby is always healthy and happy to learn. Wish your baby always happy every day.
9, Happiness is like the sky in the clouds. Happiness is like being sunbathed everywhere. Parents are happy because they have their parents’ warm blessings:
Wishing you a healthy growth, have a beautiful childhood. Become a cheerful teenager, a young person with money.
10, From the moment you appeared, you have brought eternal joy to our little home. Hopefully, your birthday is always a happy day.
11, I hope that my baby is like a flower that blooms every day and always shines like a radiant sun. Wishing you a happy and healthy day.
12, Joyful needle, thread a happy thread, sew it into a lucky shirt for your baby’s parents. I wish you all good luck and smooth sailing.
13, Honey: With children, everything seems to be getting better. Dear baby, welcome to this beautiful world. On the path of eternal life, I hope you grow up healthy and happy.
14, I wish my baby, the more intelligent, the bigger and the more beautiful. Happy New Year, a good year.
15, Son, you know, the moment you appeared and realized that: you are the happiest person in the world.
16, Darling, take off the innocent sail, raise your creative sad wings, to go to the golden shores.
17, Parents’ love is like wings, it takes their children to fly far away. Hope that your dreams will come true soon.
18, Day by day, if love can be everlasting, son, even if you go to the ends of the earth, your parents’ hearts are always directed to you. Parents hope children are always safe.
19, Dear children, I hope that your wishes in life can come true. I hope you are always happy every day. Hopefully, health and happiness will forever be by your side.
20, The road ahead is still long. Parents hope children are always moving forward. Parents vow to make wings to carry their children’s dreams away.
Funny Parenting Quotes
1. “Raising kids is the only job where you work 24 hours a day and it actually costs you money.”
2. “Being a dad at bedtime is like being a designated driver trying to get your friends to leave the bar.”
3. “Dad: Spider-killing superhero.”
4. “My kids always ask me which one of them is my favorite. I don’t tell them I don’t actually like any of them.”
5. “No one wants to see Dad dance, but he does it anyway.”
6. “Being a dad is when you realize you can actually like people who puke in your car multiple times.”
7. “Fatherhood is all about pretending neck ties are the best gifts you ever received.”
8. “For the first two years, being a good dad is mostly about keeping your kid from finding new and creative ways to hurt himself.”
9. “When your kids are toddlers, they’ll embarrass you constantly in the grocery store, at the doctor’s office, at the park, everywhere. When they’re teenagers, it’s Dad’s turn to pay them back.”
10. “Nothing you can do can scare me. I raised three daughters.”
11. “My daughter doesn’t have any daddy issues, but I can guarantee her boyfriend will.”
12. “The key to being an awesome dad is aging without maturing.”
13. “I’m a typical overachiever. That’s why I’m the dad of twins.”
14. “Having a conversation while having children is like trying to do your taxes in an inflatable jump house.”
15. “Dad jokes are how I keep from crying.”
16. “I worked hard to get this dad bod.”
17. “My boss calls me dad.”
18. “No really. My dad jokes are proof that I’m the funniest dad alive.”
19. “There’s no joy quite like the happiness that comes from embracing your kids.”
20. “Don’t touch my car, my beer, or my daughter.”
21. “I know when my kids need money because that’s when they laugh at my jokes.”
Cute Kids’ Quotes
1. “The older I get, the more my dad seems to learn.”
2. “Dad, I wish I’d inherited your ability to fall asleep anywhere anytime.”
3. “It’s great how we both know some things are true without even having to say it out loud – like that I’m your favorite kid.”
4. “I’m smiling because I have you as a dad. I’m laughing because you can’t do anything about.”
5. “Dad, thanks for saying ‘yes’ when Mom said ‘no.'”
6. “Dad, I have a secret. You’re the best parent. Please don’t tell Mom.”
7. “I wouldn’t trade my dad for anything. Then again, no one has offered me anything yet.”
8. “My dad taught me everything he knows. That’s why I know nothing.”
9. “Life doesn’t come with instructions, but it does come with a dad who always answers my calls.”
10. “Thanks again, Dad, for not really killing any of the guys I dated.”
Lovely innocence children quotes
1. “You’re not my stepdad. You’re my bonus dad.”
2. “You’re the best stepdad because you still chose to marry our mom, even after you met us.”
3. “You can’t scare me. I have stepkids.”
4. “I’m crazy enough to be a stepdad and lucky enough to be your stepdad.”
5. “My kids call my stepdad because ‘partner in crime’ sounds irresponsible.”
6. “All men were created equal, but stepdads got to level up.”\
7. “Being a dad is about creating a human when you aren’t necessarily capable of putting together a bookcase without help.”
8. “Fathers need to tell little white lies right from the start. They hand you something that looks like a cross between Gollum and a ball of bread dough, and you look at your wife and tell her it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.”
9. “The first years with your wife, staying up until dawn together is romantic. When you have kids, you will want to fight her to the death to avoid being the one who sees the sun come up.”
10. “Being a dad means learning how changing a mountain of diapers can change your whole life.”
11. “I leveled up from husband to father.”
12. “Given the choice between a nap and anything else in the world, a new dad will always choose a nap.”
13. “New dad advice: teach them to call you “your majesty.'”
14. “Pro tip: Learn how to ‘fix’ toys by removing the batteries.”
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