+599 Funny Motivational Quotes About Life

These Funny Motivational Quotes about life can help inspire you to achieve your goals while also putting a smile on your face. Please follow those quotes through the article below!

Motivational Quotes

Motivational Quotes

1. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” Joe Girard

2. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar

3. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin

4. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” Oscar Wilde

5. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” Winnie the Pooh

6. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” Tom Lehrer

7. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” Steven Wright

8. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” Unknown

9. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” Jeffrey Gitomer

10. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Dalai Lama

11. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Dalai Lama

12. “I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.” Cassandra Duffy

13. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” Cathy Guisewite

14. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” Mark Twain

15. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

16. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” Benjamin Franklin

17. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” Unknown

18. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” Charles Schulz

19. “Think like a proton. Always positive.” Unknown

20. “Be happy – it drives people crazy.” Unknown

Short & Funny Motivational Quotes

Short & Funny Motivational Quotes

1. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” – Unknown

2. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke

3. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” – Jeffrey Gitomer

4. “Every tattoo is temporary, because we’re all slowly dying.” – Unknown

5. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” – Michael Scott

6. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown

7. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

8. “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain

9. “The best things in life are actually really expensive.” – Unknown

10. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

11. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

13. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” – Mark Twain

14. “Always remember that you are unique  –  just like everybody else.” – Unknown

15. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz

16. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” – Robert Bloch

17. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

18. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright

19. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley

20. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” – Audrey Hepburn

Funny Motivational quotes for work

Funny Motivational quotes for work

1.“The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

2. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett

3. “When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?”” – Sydney Harris

4. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright

5. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin

6. “Bad decisions make good stories.” – Ellis Vidler

7. “Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.” – Unknown

8. “Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet.” – Unknown

9. “I cannot afford to waste my time making money.” – Louis Agassiz

10. “If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.” – Unknown

11. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

12. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

13. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

14. “Think like a proton. Always positive.” – Unknown

15. “When I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.” – Barney Stinson

16. “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London

17. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” – Unknown

18. “Be happy  –  it drives people crazy.” – Unknown

19. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

20. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” – Franklin P. Jones

Funny Motivational quotes about life

Funny Motivational quotes about life

1. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” Robert Brault

2. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” Ayn Rand.

3. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” Robin Williams

4. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” Michael Scott

5. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” Elvis Presley

6. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” Will Rogers

7. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

8. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” Jason Love

9. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

10. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” Franklin P. Jones

12. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Eddison

13. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” Unknown

14. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” Audrey Hepburn

15. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” Robert Bloch

16. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Marilyn Monroe

17. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” Robert Frost

18. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” Terry Pratchett

19. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” Billie Burke

20. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” Unknown

Funny Motivational quotes for life

Funny Motivational quotes for life

1. “Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.”
– Bob Thaves

2. “We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”
– Bryan White

3. “As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”
– Buddy Hackett

4. “But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.”
– Carl Sagan

5. “My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.”
– Caroline Rhea

6. “All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”
– Casey Stengel

7. “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”
– Charles de Gaulle

9. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
– Charles Lamb

10. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles M. Schulz

11. “By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”
– Charles Wadsworth

12. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
– Charlie Chaplin

13. “Political correctness is tyranny with manners.”
– Charlton Heston

14. “High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.”
– Christopher Morley

15. “If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”
– Chuck Palahniuk

16. “When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.”
– Clarence Darrow

17. “A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’”
– Claude Pepper

18. “They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”
– Clint Eastwood

19. “I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.”
– Colonel Sanders

20. “A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: ‘Duh.’”
– Conan O’Brien

21. “Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!’”
– Conan O’Brien

22. “Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.”
– Cullen Hightower

23. “If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?”
– Cynthia Heimel

24. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
– Dalai Lama

25. “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”
– Dale Carnegie

Funny Motivational quotes to motivate you

Funny Motivational quotes to motivate you

1. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
– Thomas Eddison

2. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? – George Carli

3. If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big. – Donald Trump

4. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. – Mitch Hedberg

5. “You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.” — Sam Levenson

6. “It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

7. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. – Mark Twain

8. “I have to be successful because I like expensive things.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

9. “Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat.” — Harry Emerson Fosdick

10. I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life. – Karan Patel

11. “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.“ – Robert Downey Jr.

12. “Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.” – Terry Pratchett

13. “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” – George Carlin

14. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein

15. “I figured something out. The future is unpredictable.” – John Green

16. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire

17. “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself.” – Ethel Barrymore

18. “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” – Frank Zappa

19. “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” – Dale Carnegie

20. “Aspire to inspire before we expire.” – Eugene Bell Jr

Funny Motivational quotes to enrich your day

Funny Motivational quotes to enrich your day

1. “I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.” – Edgar Allan Poe

2. “Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!” – Dr. Seuss

3. “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
– Charles J. Sykes

4. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

5. “Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” – Woody Allen

6. “Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you’re alive it isn’t.” – Richard Bach

7. “We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.” – W. H. Auden

8. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

9. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” – Robert Brault

10. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers

11. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”– Abraham Lincoln

12. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”– Alan Dundes

13. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”– Andy Rooney

14. “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”
– Ann Landers

15. “The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”– Bertrand Russell

16. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”– Bernard Baruch

17. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”– Bill Watterson

18. “Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.”– Bill Vaughan

19. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”– Bob Hope

20. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”– Charlie Chaplin

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