+ 599 Funny Fathers Day Quotes to Use This Father’s Day

Fathers can be that reliable presence in a family that makes the difference in kids feeling self-confident and prepared to take on the world. Dads teach children how to ride bikes, throw a baseball, how to bait a hook fishing, and so much more. You’ll be remembering all that your father has done for you as you read through this collection. And, feel free to use one of the Funny Fathers Day Quotes that resonate with you in a social media post, letter, or card to your dad!

The Best Quotes for Father’s Day

The Best Quotes for Father’s Day

1. “There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.’” –Jim Gaffigan

2. “Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken and there’s a lot of throwing up.” —Ray Romano

3. “Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.” —Jimmy Fallon

4. “You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” —Jerry Seinfeld

5. “I think my mom put it best. She said, ‘Little girls soften their daddy’s hearts.’ ” —Paul Walker

6. “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.” —Billy Graham

7. “Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that’s why I call you dad, because you are so special to me.” —Wade Boggs

8. “A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men.” —Gregory E. Lang

9. “I love my father as the stars—he’s a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart.” —Terri Guillemets

10. “By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” —Charles Wadsworth

11. “Lookin’ back all I can say about all the things he did for me is I hope I’m at least half the dad that he didn’t have to be.” —Brad Paisley

12. “Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then, it’s a love without end.” —George Strait

13. “On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and the weight of her world.” —John Mayer

14. “When my father didn’t have my hand, he had my back.” —Linda Poindexter

15. “A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be.” —Carol Coats

16. “Any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.” —Barack Obama

17. “He adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector.” —Tom Wolfe

18. “My daddy was my hero. He was always there for me when I needed him. He listened to me and taught me so many things. But most of all he was fun.” —Bindi Irwin

Funny Father’s Day Quotes

Funny Father’s Day Quotes

1.) A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez

2.) Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Robert Orben

3.) Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at-bat. Then, fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.
Jimmy Piersall

4.) You can’t spell “parentry” without “try.” Of course, you’ll make a few mistakes. The important thing is that the mistakes you make with your kids are the same ones your parents made with you. At least you know how those turn out.
Stephen Colbert

5.) When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.
Dave Attell

6.) On the perfect Father’s Day. There would be just Dad, wearing his oldest surviving undershorts, free of pressure, maybe just sitting in front of the TV, watching the NBA finals. There would be no conversation, other than Dad periodically observing that these players today could carry the ball across Montana and never get called for traveling. Of course, that’s not all. You’d also make a restaurant reservation, and at the end of the day, you’d dress up and go out and have a nice dinner, during which you’d propose a toast to Dad, who would be back home, in front of the TV, happily asleep in his veteran underwear.
Dave Barry

7.) Every father is the architect of his home life.
Reed Markham

8.) I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield

9.) Me and my dad used to play tag. He’d drive.
Rodney Dangerfield

10.) The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children.
Clarence Darrow

11.) Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.
Ray Romano

12.) I gave my father $100 and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
Rita Rudner

13.) Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.
Jimmy Fallon

14.) My daughter got me a “World’s Best Dad” mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.
Bob Odenkirk

15.) You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.
Jerry Seinfeld

16.) Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.
John Stewart

17.) It is a wise father that knows his own child.

18.) I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

19.) No one in this world can love a girl more than her father.

Michael Ratnadeepak

20.) My father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future.
Liza Minnelli

From Daughter

From Daughter

1. “Having Children Is Like Living In A Frat House. Nobody Sleeps, Everything’S Broken And There’S A Lot Of Throwing Up.” – Ray Romano

2. “The Older I Get, The Smarter My Father Seems To Get.” — Tim Russert

3. “Men Should Always Change Diapers. It’S A Very Rewarding Experience. It’S Mentally Cleansing. It’S Like Washing Dishes, But Imagine If The Dishes Were Your Kids, So You Really Love The Dishes.” – Chris Martin

4. “Raising Kids May Be A Thankless Job With Ridiculous Hours, But At Least The Pay Sucks.” – Jim Gaffigan

5. “I Want My Son To Wear A Helmet 24 Hours A Day. If It Was Socially Acceptable, I’D Be The First One To Have My Kid In A Full Helmet And Like A Cage Across His Face Mask.” – Will Arnett

6. “By The Time A Man Realizes That Maybe His Father Was Right, He Usually Has A Son Who Thinks He’S Wrong.” — Charles Wadsworth
Related: 8 Subscription Boxes Sure To Delight Any Dad This Father’S Day

7. “Buying Your Kid A Goldfish Is A Great Way To Teach Them About Responsibility For 24—36 Hours.” – Conan O’Brien

8. “You Can Tell What Was The Best Year Of Your Father’S Life Because They Seem To Freeze That Clothing Style And Ride It Out.” – Jerry Seinfeld

9. “When I Was A Boy Of 14, My Father Was So Ignorant, I Could Hardly Stand To Have The Old Man Around. But When I Got To Be 21, I Was Astonished At How Much The Old Man Had Learned In Seven Years.” — Mark Twain

10. “There Should Be A Children’S Song: ‘If You’Re Happy And You Know It, Keep It To Yourself And Let Your Dad Sleep.’” – Jim Gaffigan

11. “A Father Carries Pictures Where His Money Used To Be.” — Steve Martin

12. “Good Parenting Means Investing In Your Child’S Future, Which Is Why I Am Saving To Buy Mine A Hoverboard Someday.” — Lin Manuel Miranda

13. “Getting A Burp Out Of Your Little Thing When She Needs It Is Probably The Greatest Satisfaction I’ve Come Across At This Point In My Life. It Is Truly One Of Life’s Most Satisfying Moments.” — Brad PittMatt Damon Fathers Day Quote

14. “The Only Way I Can Describe [Fatherhood]—It Sounds Stupid—But At The End Of How The Grinch Stole Christmas, You Know How His Heart Grows Like Five Times? Everything Is Full; It’S Just Full All The Time.” – Matt Damon

15. “Fatherhood Is Great Because You Can Ruin Someone From Scratch.” – Jon Stewart

Happy Father’s Day Quotes From Son

Happy Father’s Day Quotes From Son

1. Happy Father’s day to the best Dad in the world!

2. To the world’s best Dad, happy Father’s day!

3. Thanks Dad for everything you do for us. Happy Father’s Day.

4. Happy Father’s day to the coolest Dad ever!

5. Happy Father’s day to my wonderful Daddy. I love you to the moon… and back!

6. Happy Father’s Day to my wonderful daddy. Thanks for always being there for us.

7. Out of all the dads in the world I think we got the best one! Happy Father’s day.

8. Thanks for all the fun times we’ve shared together, you’re such an amazing Daddy! Happy Father’s day!

9. Dad, you know that I like Batman, and Superman’s cool too, but I don’t really need them as long as I have you! Happy Father’s day to my super Dad!

10. I am so lucky to have you as my dad. Thanks for being so wonderful!

11. Thanks for giving me so much love, attention, and care. You truly are the best Daddy! Happy Father’s day.

12. Thanks for being the coolest dad on the block! Happy Father’s day!

13. Happy Father’s Day to the greatest Dad in the whole world!

14. Let your dad know just how much you love and appreciate him with one of these beautiful and heartfelt father’s day wishes.

15. With your elbow grease and worn out boots, you never failed to put us first. Happy father’s day to the best dad in the world! Step aside and let us do some of the work today!

16. Thank you for all the sacrifices you make for our family and all the joy and love you bring into our lives. We couldn’t have asked for a better Dad! Happy Father’s day.

17. Thank you for working as hard as you do every day to provide for us. You always make time for me when you’re home from work and I love hanging out with you. I hope you have a fabulous Father’s day.

18. Dad, You mean the world to me. There’s no one else on earth like you. You care so completely, give so quietly, and love so deeply. As the years pass, I realize more and more just how lucky I am to have a Dad as wonderful as you. Happy father’s day!

19. To my dearest Dad: You are my compass. Thanks for always showing me the right path and for guiding me in the right direction. Happy father’s day, I love you.

Good Father’s Day Sayings

Good Father’s Day Sayings

1. Thank you for everything that you have given me. You’ve always been there for me as a dad and best friend as well. There is no other bond like ours. I love you dad!

2. When people say, ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,’ I tell them that’s the best compliment I could ever get. Someday, I hope to grow as strong and wise as you. Have a great father’s day!

3. Whenever I would fail, you were there to pick me up and put me back on right path. Without you, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Happy father’s day Dad, thanks for everything.

4. Dad, your light guides this family and holds us together. As you get older I want you to know that I am there for you too, through thick and thin. On this special day, relax and forget your worries. Happy father’s day!

5. Give your father a good laugh on father’s day with a funny card message! These wishes poke fun at the father-child relationship and celebrate the joys and trials of raising children.

6. I’m so lucky to have you as my father… I’m sure no one else would have put up with me this long. Happy Father’s Day!

7. To the world’s greatest Dad from the world’s greatest kids, hope you have an amazing Father’s day!

8. You may not know everything but you sure had me fooled for quite a few years! Happy Father’s day to the smartest Dad in town.

9. Dad, you’ve always been the coolest. Like all those times you said “yes” when mom said “no.” Happy Father’s day, Cool Dad!

10. Fact: Dads are notoriously difficult to buy gifts for. Instead, just enjoy this card I made for you, and feel the joy of having me as your child. Happy Father’s day!

11. You know what they say: Real heroes don’t wear capes, they make bad puns. Thank you for being a real hero, Dad. Happy father’s day!

12. Happy Father’s day Dad! If you want, I’ll make a distraction so you can sneak off and get some gaming in. Cheers,

13. It takes an amazing dad to raise such a ridiculously great kid. Happy Father’s day Dad, I couldn’t have grown up to be so humble without you!

14. Thank you for all the piggy back rides, all the times you pretended to be a horse, and all the times you threw me into the air and caught me. Your body might be regretting it now, but it made for a wonderful childhood. Happy Father’s day Dad!

15. Happy father’s day to the raddest, most tubular, least square, ummm hippest… Hey Dad, Are any of these from your generation? Great fathers are timeless!

16. A collection of happy father’s day messages to write to your husband or the father of your children on father’s day, thanking them for what they do for your family, how much you appreciate them, and what a great dad they are!

17. Happy Father’s Day to my dear husband, the father of our beautiful children and the love of my life.

18. Thank you for everything you do each day for our family, we are so lucky to have you!

19. What a crazy ride, so glad that we’re in this together! Happy Father’s day!

20. We love you so much, you’re the best daddy and the best husband! Happy Father’s day.

21. You have given our children someone to look up to and admire. You are such a fantastic father and I love you so very much. Happy father’s day!

Father’s Day Quotes for Husband

Father’s Day Quotes for Husband

1. Our kids think you’re superman. And they’re absolutely right about that. Happy Father’s day!

2. May all the love you give to our family come back to you on this special day. Happy Father’s day!

3. It takes a man of gentleness, patience, strength, and compassion to set the fine example of fatherhood that you have. Happy father’s day to my handsome Husband and the sweet Father of my children.

4. Happy father’s day to the coolest dad, most loving husband, and most amazing person in the world! You never stop making us smile. Every day is a better with you in it. Thank you for all the fun!

5. Happy father’s day to my husband, the father of my children, and the provider of the family. Thanks for devoting your life to our happiness and wellbeing.

6. The only thing better than having you as my husband is our children having you as their dad. Happy father’s day Love!

7. Every girl dreams about living the life of a princess. I have never dreamed of that because I have always been treated like a princess by you. I love you Dad. Happy Father’s day.

8. Happy Father’s Day from your little princess. I love you Dad!

9. All my life, I’ve been lucky to have the best dad. Now, I count myself doubly lucky, since my child gets to have the best granddad. Happy father’s day dad, we love you!

10. To the best taxi driver, the most effective spider hunter, the cheapest handyman, and the most generous bank I know. Thank you for being the best Dad! Happy Father’s day!

11. It doesn’t matter how many years go by. In my mind, you’ll always be that same amazing person who taught me how to ride a bike, helped me with my homework, and scared away the monsters in my room. Happy father’s day Dad, thanks for being awesome!

12. Let your dad know just how great you think he is with one of these father’s day message ideas. From heartfelt to funny, they try to capture some of the magic of the relationship between a son and his dad.

13. Dad, you’re someone to look up to no matter how tall I’ve grown. Thanks for being such a great mentor and buddy. Happy Father’s day!

14. Some people call their fathers superheroes. But superheroes tend to disappear, and you’ve always been there for me. If you ask me, my dad isn’t a superhero, he is a Super Dad! Have a great Father’s day!

Father’s Day Quotes for Uncles

Father’s Day Quotes for Uncles

1. I love how we don’t need to say out loud that I am your favorite child. Happy Father’s Day!

2. Dear Dad, for Father’s Day I hope you enjoy this nice present that I bought with your money. Happy Father’s Day!

3. Please accept this card as a token of my poverty. Happy Father’s Day!

4. I thought long and hard about the perfect Father’s Day gift for you and then I realized that the perfect gift is me, a child who is charming, witty, and gorgeous. Happy Father’s Day!

5. Dear Dad, thanks for never abandoning our family, especially when things were getting crazy, especially when I was the cause of most of the craziness. Happy Father’s Day!

6. Thank you, Dad, for killing all of those spiders. You are a real hero. Happy Father’s Day!

7. Dear Dad, thank you for being so successful that you will never have to move in with me when you are old. I really appreciate it. Happy Father’s Day!

8. Without me, this day would not mean much, would it? So I guess what I am trying to say is “you’re welcome.” Happy Father’s Day!

9. My Dad has the most awesome daughter in the world.

10. I smile because you are my dad. I laugh because there is nothing that you can do about it. Happy Father’s Day!

11.Thank you for killing all of the spiders and chasing away all the monsters in my closet. I will always think of you as fearless. Happy Father’s Day!

12. Thank you, Dad, for carrying me on your shoulders and letting me stand on your feet while we danced. Happy Father’s Day!

13. My Dad has the best son in the world. Happy Father’s Day to the world’s best dad from the world’s best son!

14. Happy Father’s Day to the coolest Dad ever!

15. You’re the man, an old man, but the Man! Happy Fathers Day!

16. Your pull out game is weak.

17. Dad, you’re one of my favorite parents.

18. Happy Father’s Day, Dad! I wouldn’t trade you for anything. Of course, nobody’s offered me anything.

19. As far as Fathers go, I guess I could have done a lot worse.

20. I hope this Father’s Day is as fun as your life before kids.

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